Peer Review Sheet: Assignment Two

Peer Reviewer:  Hailey Jenkins

Author of Paper: Blake Boss

Title of Paper: N/a

 

Before completing the peer editing sheet, attempt to arrange the writer’s individual paragraphs in the correct order. Discuss your arrangement with the writer before re-reading the original paper to answer the questions below.

 

1. How easy was it to arrange the paragraphs? It was fairly easy to arrange the paragraphs, because Blake organized his paragraphs well.

2. Does the argument clearly build in a logical manner? Yes, he introduces the topic, explains why African Americans would want to seek revenge, talks about the fight for equality, connects the BLM movement to the Civil Rights movement, talks more about the BLM movement, connects technology to the BLM movement, and concludes with a look to the future.

3. Is there a better way to organize the paper? I don’t see a better way to organize this paper.

4. What aspects of the paper impede the clarity of essay’s macro-organization? Blake gets a little off topic sometimes, like when he connects modern technology and the BLM movement. Not all of the topics are completely necessary, no matter how interesting they are.

 

1. Does the introduction paragraph provide the context for the entire essay? Yes, but the introduction could introduce the paragraph topics in a clearer way so that readers know what they’re about to read.

2. Is the thesis statement clear? What is the thesis statement in your own words? Yes, the thesis is stating that African Americans are wronged in our society and that we can see examples of them fighting back against the injustice.

3. From the introduction, is it clear what the structure and organization is for the body paragraphs? The structure and organization of the body is not as clear as it could be from the introduction.

4. What is one way the writer can make their introduction stronger and/or more interesting? Blake could make his intro stronger and/or more interesting by introducing the micro-topics.

 

1. Does each body paragraph have a clear focus? Does each one clearly support the overall argument? Yes, I can very quickly see the topic of each paragraph just by reading the first sentence. He also does a good job of sticking to each paragraphs topic within the paragraphs. Not every single one, but most do.

2. Is there enough reasonable evidence to support the writer’s claims? No, more evidence should be included.

3. Is the writer’s analysis convincing and persuasive? Yes, despite a shortage of evidence in the paper, I am still very convinced that discrimination is a problem.

4. Is the analysis more than a re-statement of their evidence? Does the analysis explain how the evidence supports their argument (rather than simply supporting the source’s original argument)? Yes, he supports his evidence well.

5. Is the organization of the individual paragraphs clear? Can you follow the train of thought within individual paragraphs (not just the overall paper)? Not always. Sometimes, the sentences within the paragraph seem kind of randomly thrown in.

 

1. Does the conclusion synthesize the main points in some way? How so? Kind of, the conclusion is more of a look to the future, instead of a final word of the topic, but it still closes the paper well.

2. Does the conclusion explain the significance of the main points/overall argument? Yes, it connects the micro-points to the overall purpose of the paper.

3. Does the conclusion leave any question unanswered? If there are questions unanswered, do they serve some sort of purpose? No.

 

1. Does the writer follow MLA guidelines for formatting? No; no title, times new roman font. Everything else is great.

2. Does the writer follow MLA guidelines for citations? Yes

3. Does the writer have an interesting title? The writer has no title yet

 

1. What are two things that the writer should work on for the final draft?

• Use the evidence that you have more, and analyze it.

• The introduction; make it more exciting, and connect it to the organization of the paragraphs.

• Language seems a little informal at times

• Give some examples of when African Americans in the BLM movement have sought revenge

1. What are two things that the writer does well?

• Great analysis of the evidence

• Very convincing. I can tell he’s passionate about this issue.